It had been a tough week this week. I had to study for my CISSP exam, then work pressures from trying to get promotion and sudden increase in workload. Then I attended 2 days of FS-ISAC conference on Tuesday and Wednesday as well.

The conference has pretty good food but I only took 2 photos of the food. I took the photo of my snacks on the first day and wow, the sushi is very, very nice.

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Then I took photo of the lunch on the second day.

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It was great to meet my ex-colleagues at Grab and PayPal. I even saw my interviewer for SAP and six group. It’s the same guy and he remembered me. He even came over to say hello to me on the second day when he saw me eating at one of the tables. I was shocked that he remembered me and he was like, “Of course I will remember you.” Haha, did I do that well in the interviews? But then again I didn’t make it to the next round for six group leh… Shrugs. I went to add him on LinkedIn and he accepted it. Woohoo to a new LinkedIn connection. Haha.

Then I went to Singapore International Jewelry Expo 2024 at Marina Bay Sands on Thursday and Friday. I got myself a string of rainbow tourmaline beads and a pair of Akoya pearl earrings in set in 18K gold. 😀 It’s my first ever Akoya or saltwater pearl jewellery and wow, the lustre is very impressive. I really love it and it looks so much better than my freshwater pearls jewellery. I actually dropped 1 of it on the floor and then it kept bouncing because it is so round. Yes, it’s quite expensive since it is Japanese Akoya and also it is quite round. I really love it though and have been wearing ever since I got it. Not supposed to wear it daily though so I guess I will rotate it with my blue sapphire earrings for now. Haha.

I looked so pretty with the new Akoya pearl earrings though. Its shine and lustre makes my face looks even fairer and prettier lah. 🙂 Love it so much now!

I’m quite glad that I did not get any tanzanite or blue sapphire gems since I didn’t manage to find one that I am truly satisfied. It’s either the colour is nice but cut is meh or the other way round. I think I will just send my current tanzanite gem for certification to confirm that it is really tanzanite before getting it set into my jewellery piece. At least the cut is really nice on that gem even though the colour could have been better. I might consider getting pink diamonds some day but let’s see how it goes.

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I also presented a patent idea to my Patent Legal team on Friday and I think it went well. Hopefully I get another patent approved soon. 🙂 It was my first presentation with the legal team ever since I took over the entire innovation4good program. Yes, I’m now a program lead for it. I was also invited to present in 1 of the company events (India Innovation Forum) next, next week. It’s my first presentation whereby I was invited and going to present it by myself. Whee! I’m going to start to prepare the slides after my CISSP exam. It’s really different when you are invited because the organisers will send you the list of stuff to cover as per your request. It’s like you don’t really need to push or market yourself hard. I told the good news to 1 of my mentors who has been focusing on improving my own presentation and marketing myself better. Maybe I will get his help to help me review my slides. Hehe.

I had some health issue at the moment and I hope it clears up soon. If it doesn’t clear up by end of this month then I will have to be referred to a specialist and potentially take a biopsy. Sigh. I already had 2 cancer scares last year and really don’t want to go through it again. Please let it recover soon.

I was studying for CISSP at night last weekend (not this weekend) and I felt I was seeing stars. Felt quite dizzy and stuff. I think I have been too stressed recently and I just kept pushing on (which I am very good at) so my body is like pressing all the alarm bells to force me to rest. 🙁

It certainly doesn’t help that for the past week, I am like going out everyday and rushing here and there – be it work or personal life. Mostly due to work though. It’s tough to earn money these days, especially with the widespread layoffs in tech industry.

I met one of my mentors at the FS-ISAC conference and she commented that I should drop the part of finding love/husband. “Dun spread yourself thin.” is what she texted me on WhatsApp. I’m shocked to hear it from her because I didn’t say much about my personal life recently. I also didn’t tell her about my health issues recently. It’s interesting how Gulabi is also saying something along the same lines but that’s because she knew I have been sick for the past few months. She’s like… I know you can push and stretch yourself and will continue to do it but please take breaks.

My mentor also commented that she is happy that I have improved. I asked if I wore better and more suitable clothing for the conference and she said, it is not just the clothing that you have improved. You also improved in your demeanour and how you present yourself in a work setting. It’s impressive because I did it in 3 months and she told me that I need to spend time alone to be my true self. Everyone has different sides and I need to rest more and spend more alone time to recover. It’s going to be very tiring for me to keep up to the work demeanour. This reminded me of what my manager had told me before. Everyone has a different sides to show at work, at personal life and with their spouses.

I did a lot to reach to this stage. Reading lots of audio books, having multiple mentors, had therapy (to recover from my toxic relationship and face my own giants), researching on the dressing sense and how I can carry myself better. I’m also getting better at makeup and I definitely look way better now haha. Alex was commenting that 1 of my outfit of the day photos how I look like 28 years old and the clothes are like 18 years old so average is 23 years old. Wow, for a guy who always suan/disturb/bring me down to say that I look younger than my age (33 years old), it was quite an achievement. Makeup and dressing really can make one looks younger. Gulabi also commented how I look like same age or just a bit older than the new intern in 1 of the photos. Mind you, the intern is like 24 years old? Now the question is whether I can sustain this stage without pushing myself to my limits.

I guess I have to pick the right balls to manage now. Cannot drop the glass balls in my life and that includes health. I probably will stop swiping on the dating apps a few months to refocus my life in some important aspects that are coming up.

But I’m still curious to see if my fengshui master is right that I will have peach blossom luck in August. He specifically told me to look out in June and July this year. Well, I think I already rejected 2 men so far after having a few dates with them. Cause…. cannot make it lah. Sometimes good looks can only bring you so far. I had enough of mummy’s boy and indecisive dudes. All these rotten peach blossom luck arh… 😐 Then there’s 1 that seems quite high potential but not sure if we will actually end up meeting given that the conversation is slowly fading/dying after I told him I am not free to meet this weekend and said will prefer to meet after my exam next Wednesday. Lol. Maybe he is not meant to be or just one of the dudes who is either married or attached but still swiping to find ladies to spend time on weekends. Shrugs.

The next time I see my fengshui master, I must definitely bring this up. How come he is so accurate about being May 2024 will be a very tough time for me but in terms of the peach blossom part, he isn’t very accurate. 🙁 However, I did reject 2 men within the same month so hmmm…

Dear God, please just send my future husband to me. Stop sending men to teach me stuff that I need to know. Have I not learn enough? :'(

Anyway, just 3 more days to my CISSP exam. I really hope I can pass and get my ISC2 membership. If I pass it, then maybe I will consider learning driving so that if I relocate to US for work, I can still drive myself around. Oh well, a girl got to do what she needed to. I’m not going to be able to be a passenger princess sadly. 🙁

I can really relate to this post from one of my favourite Hermes influencers. She is also a doctorate and working as a psychologist.

In her words…

“Long post warning, but I really want to share this today.

A few years ago and again recently got reminded, I learned it is not my concern when people feel intimidated or threatened.

Look here; I don’t live my life trying to make others uncomfortable or demeaned; that would be…just..mean.
Who has time for that?

Know this: I’m never trying to “one-up” ANYONE…EVER!  It’s just that I love to read, work very hard, and have been blessed with a brain that works well (for me). I never attempt to overshadow any other person in any situation.

When people are jealous, they may subconsciously feel like they’re inadequate or that you’re to blame for taking away their spotlight. Get out of here, I say!

Even so, we still have to be kind.

At the end of it all, your feeling threatened will not manipulate me!

At the same time, I don’t live my life to make people feel comfortable around me other than walking in love and kindness.

If I know an answer to a problem – and it’s my place to share it – I will share it.

#lifeisyourstage#letthembethreatened#wiseliving#liveunapologetically”

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So yeah, to the jealous ones, you can continue to stay jealous. To the haters, you just have to keep on hating because that’s literally all you can do right? I may not love to read but love to learn, work very hard, and have been blessed with a brain that works well for me. Just because you don’t see how hard I work does not diminish the hard work I put in. The amount of time and effort to put in myself to grow and get stronger will show in the results that I achieved. In fact, most of it are not linear because I put way more effort than what I actually achieved. I will need constant reminders to have self compassion in myself.

I guess when you reach the stage/point of life when people are actually jealous of you are even hating you, it means you are already out of the level that you no longer need to stay with such people. You are already out of their league. So the next time someone said something rude and shows jealousy, I’m just going to take the advice from Sara Jane Ho in her Mind Your Manners book and asked “Are you okay?”

Lastly, if being envious or jealous or hatred is all you know, then I don’t think we are at the same level that we should be knowing each other. Bye.

I got the Twilly d’Hermès Eau Ginger Eau de parfum back in 2021 and I hardly use it. Well, I got it at launch and among all the Twilly perfume, I like it the most. It has a nice refreshing scent when I tried it in store. However, after buying it, spraying it on myself and going out with it, I realised I am not a fan of it… So I stopped using it for a really long time. Well, I still try to use it whenever possible – aka hardly use it.

I sprayed it again this morning and hmm, it actually smells nice to me. I know it has a rather strong scent so I am spraying lesser on my clothes as compared to other scents. I usually sprayed about 12 times for my entire outfit but for this perfume, I make sure I only spray 10 times. I’m liking the smell when I first spray it on my outfit while wearing it so let’s see how it feels like at the end of the day. It will be nice if I can finish it somehow haha.

Rui Yun was telling me that it has been trending on Xiaohongshu (Little Red Book – China version of Instagram on social media) that some luxury brands perfume and what luck they bring in. She told me Hermes perfume is supposed to bring wealth luck. Whoa, I sprayed Le Jardin de Monsieur Li Eau de toilette from Hermes on the same day she told me hahaha. I need more wealth luck sia. Haha. 🙂 Other than my Hermessence perfume (which I stopped using now and only use when I travel since it is quite portable), I love their Garden series perfume.

I’m trying to stop myself from buying more perfume because I have been acquiring quite a few bottles of perfume. Now I probably need to plan to store them somewhere… I am also trying to finish my existing perfume too. I finished the Jo Malone English Pear and Freesia 30ml some time ago but I think all other perfumes are still quite full. Okay, maybe my Le Labo Citron 28 perfume is like half gone. It is a 50ml bottle so that means around 25ml is used. I really like that perfume since the start. Pretty sure it is nothing to do with Seoul being one of my favourite cities in the world.

Anyway, I don’t spray perfume directly on my skin as I really do not want to cause eczema or any skin conditions. However, that means it is harder for the perfume to dissipate so I need to spray more on my clothes to get similar effect. The downside? I will end up using more of my perfume and gosh, perfumes are not cheap. Lol.

Anyway, I am not sure if the perfume has changed its smell or I have a change in preferences. One thing for sure is that I will be using the Twilly perfume more often in future…

Update: The perfume smell lasted the whole day. It’s similar performance as my Le Labo Citron 28 perfume…

Satyadev was sharing how money can help you go into any store and get the stuff you want without asking how much is it before paying for it. That’s quite true and a privilege to have. I am already doing that for food and also jewellery – both fine and costume ones.

It’s the little things that I need to start to learn to appreciate and have more compassion in myself. I’m actually doing really well in many aspects in life – probably getting better as the time goes by.

I finally figured out the best barely makeup makeup look too! It’s actually full makeup minus contouring and eye shadow. I guess I am getting better at my makeup skills and choosing the suitable makeup for myself. Hermes is indeed a brand that suits me in many ways. Hahaha. 🙂

I feel like recently I am blossoming more into a flower. Especially with my new Pleats Mama cherry blossom bag. Sakura is carrying her new sakura bag and dressed in sakura colours today. 😀 Well, I wore my cream pleats blouse from Uniqlo with my pink linen shorts from Muji today. Oh I picked my black merino wool cardigan from Sezane as well. So it definitely matches the bag colours that I got. You can see a photo of the bag in here. I matched it with my VCA Sweet Alhambra necklace in rose gold and it is a perfect addition to the entire outfit. 🙂 I’m definitely blossoming well and beautifully! I took a selfie of my outfit of the day and all of my friends (probably biased haha) praised my outfit choice. Whee!

Okay, except for Alex who commented that I look like an auntie who is going to wet market to buy vegetables (all in Chinese). Rude! -.-

I used to be a dehydrated flower but now that I am refocusing everything on myself, I’m definitely blossoming well. A flower needs water to grow well. The same for grass too. I should always focus on myself and direct the water to myself to grow well.

That reminded me of something that a friend told me. My real Chinese name can be translated to Japanese name “Reika”. I just checked and whoa, Google translate did translate it accurately.

YJ*: Sakura actually fits you well because hua means flower
Me: yessssssss
Me: not bad, you are smart
Me: your PhD has come in handy hahahahaha
YJ: also btw your Chinese name can pass as a Japanese name
Me: eh is it???
YJ: yes
YJ: rei ka

* Not going to put the name of my friend because he is listed as a public figure on Google and I don’t want my blog to appear when his students googled for his name…

It was an old conversation but as I am blogging about blossoming more into a flower, I decided to google about “rei ka”. Apparently it means “beautiful, lovely, flower, petal”.

Perfecto lah. All these glowing up is actually inline with my name. *acts out a pretty pose* I’m vain and I’m not even going to deny it. Hahaha. 😀 If I knew my Chinese name can be translated to such a beautiful Japanese name, I would have called myself Reika instead of Sakura. Lol…

No idea why no one ever told me about “Reika” name… Not even my friends, who knew both Chinese and Japanese. I am not exactly sure how to write it in Japanese characters though and my friend didn’t type it for me. Luckily I got a Japanese mentor and I have my 1-1 meeting with him tomorrow so I will definitely ask him about it. Otherwise, I have to ask my Japanese violin teacher this Sunday during my violin class. If I like how the characters looks like, then I might add it into my online name. Haha.

On a side note, will I recommend anyone to buy Pleats Mama bag? Probably no. I already see some design and quality issues on my first day of use. To be honest, I haven’t had a bag brand which I do not complain, except Hermes. LOL. I also have complaints about my Hermes bags but Hermes after sales is always able to address every single concern I have. So no complaints about it. No wonder I have the most number of bags from this brand so far. I don’t think I ever bought so many bags from a single brand/shop before in my life…