Categories: Insights, Personal life, Rants, Work
I’m counting my blessings at the work related opportunities that I receive.
Not everyone has a job and not worry about impending layoffs.
Not everyone gets to travel on business trips to other countries.
Not everyone gets budget to study/upskill themselves.
However, as much as I can get these opportunities, there will always be people who are jealous at what I get. I mean… If you don’t ask, you won’t get it, right? If you don’t deliver results, you won’t get it, right? This is a reminder to myself that there will always be jealous, negative and toxic people around.
“Yeah. We are our own person. If people are negative best to limit the interaction.
Cuz we are influenced by the top 5 people we hang out with.”
This is something that one of my mentors, Marie, told me. Not exactly linked to the jealousy I received from my colleagues but something where I asked for advice on.
Obviously people love to see and gossip about the good stuff that others receive, including myself. What others did not realise is the difficult times people have to go through. They also did not realise and did not want to see the amount of hard work people put in to receive these “good opportunities”.
As I grow older, I realised it is even harder to have people around you who truly appreciate what you have and are happy for your accomplishments.
I realised that as I become more self aware and mature, I am gaining more empathy and awareness on the effect of my words and actions. The world of the empathetic is tough.
Last August I was battling with a wave of emotions from my breakup and also anxiety for going for my first surgery. Yeah, my ex-boyfriend left me after knowing my health is on a decline. I knew about my surgery right after my breakup. This August, I am like shopping happily and hustling hard for my career. What a difference 1 year can make!
My manager also told me that he is proud of me that I have make so much progress and positive changes in my mindset and maturity in the past few months. Lots of self work and hard work has been put into improving my self awareness and myself.
“It’s you who made yourself matured. Not other stuff. They helped you force look into yourself.”
Exactly what Gulabi has said which I can fully understand. It is what I decided to do and my thought process that makes me got better.
I was invited to give a talk on innovation and patents at my company’s innovation forum today and I delivered my virtual presentation to around 150 people. It was my first time presenting to so many people actually. The last virtual presentation I had was actually for less than 100 people. I was panicking internally and I think I have more filler words than I planned for. Nevertheless, it was quite an experience for me though.
After the presentation, I ordered a large cup of earl grey black tea latte with mini bubbles from Koi Signature. Such sinful and expensive drink haha. 🙂 So glad that I managed to complete the talk. 😀 I even make sure I put on full makeup for the virtual presentation.
In fact, my eyeliner ran out after I finished drawing 1 of the eye. Had to struggled to squeeze out as much as I can from the remaining eyeliner for my other eye. Glowing up has been expensive because first I finished my eyebrow pencil last year, now I finished my eyeliner. I have never used up these eye makeup products before. 😮
Hopefully my work continues the upwards trend and may I get promoted for the next promotion cycle.
I passed my CISSP exam today. I remembered how I struggled during the exam. It’s Computerized Adaptive Testing so that means that as you answer questions correctly, you will get tougher questions. Then when you answer them wrongly, you will get easier questions. That also means that you cannot go back to the previous question to change your answer. So it’s like a psychological gameplay. As you struggled more in the questions, it means you are on the right track to passing. But the moment you get a straightforward question, it means you answered the previous question wrongly. 🙁 So yes, it’s extremely stressful and I’m close to breaking down from the stress during the exam.
You are given 3 hrs to complete a minimum of 100 questions. After the 100th question, all the subsequent questions will be used for grading you. Before you hit 100 questions, you might get some “testing/sampling” questions which doesn’t affect your grade but is there to test the standard of the paper. So you can imagine every time I hit “Next” button and I see a new question. That means I am not near to passing and have to keep doing the questions until the maximum of 150 questions before I know if I pass or fail the exam. So guess what. I got the full set of 150 questions. That’s like 50 times of anxiety every time I clicked “Next” button. I took toilet and water break at the 110th question mark just to reset my emotions a bit.
I have to admit that this exam is much more stressful than my GCFA exam. This exam is supposed to be the last exam that I will take for this year but plans may be changed. I will see what my team is planning and may join them in another exam prep journey. Well, life of a cybersecurity professional is all about continuous learning and certification.
Now I have passed the exam and submitted the endorsement application. I’m just waiting for the certification to arrive and I heard it will take about 2 months. Oh my, what a long wait. I guess I will wait before I post on LinkedIn. I might change my mind on that though.
I wanted to reward myself after the exam and I went window shopping at Orchard. Well, my exam was at Orchard area anyway. I got myself a huge cup of wildflower honey oolong tea latte with osmanthus jelly but didn’t get any gifts for myself. Well, I’m controlling well and spending wisely for sure haha. Actually, it’s more like I overspend last month and didn’t dare to spend too much this month, especially with more future spending that is expecting from September onwards. 😐 I definitely need to hustle more at work to get my promotion in the next cycle.
Categories: Insights, Love, New stuff, Personal life, Rants, Shopping, Wants, Work
It had been a tough week this week. I had to study for my CISSP exam, then work pressures from trying to get promotion and sudden increase in workload. Then I attended 2 days of FS-ISAC conference on Tuesday and Wednesday as well.
The conference has pretty good food but I only took 2 photos of the food. I took the photo of my snacks on the first day and wow, the sushi is very, very nice.
Then I took photo of the lunch on the second day.
It was great to meet my ex-colleagues at Grab and PayPal. I even saw my interviewer for SAP and six group. It’s the same guy and he remembered me. He even came over to say hello to me on the second day when he saw me eating at one of the tables. I was shocked that he remembered me and he was like, “Of course I will remember you.” Haha, did I do that well in the interviews? But then again I didn’t make it to the next round for six group leh… Shrugs. I went to add him on LinkedIn and he accepted it. Woohoo to a new LinkedIn connection. Haha.
Then I went to Singapore International Jewelry Expo 2024 at Marina Bay Sands on Thursday and Friday. I got myself a string of rainbow tourmaline beads and a pair of Akoya pearl earrings in set in 18K gold. 😀 It’s my first ever Akoya or saltwater pearl jewellery and wow, the lustre is very impressive. I really love it and it looks so much better than my freshwater pearls jewellery. I actually dropped 1 of it on the floor and then it kept bouncing because it is so round. Yes, it’s quite expensive since it is Japanese Akoya and also it is quite round. I really love it though and have been wearing ever since I got it. Not supposed to wear it daily though so I guess I will rotate it with my blue sapphire earrings for now. Haha.
I looked so pretty with the new Akoya pearl earrings though. Its shine and lustre makes my face looks even fairer and prettier lah. 🙂 Love it so much now!
I’m quite glad that I did not get any tanzanite or blue sapphire gems since I didn’t manage to find one that I am truly satisfied. It’s either the colour is nice but cut is meh or the other way round. I think I will just send my current tanzanite gem for certification to confirm that it is really tanzanite before getting it set into my jewellery piece. At least the cut is really nice on that gem even though the colour could have been better. I might consider getting pink diamonds some day but let’s see how it goes.
I also presented a patent idea to my Patent Legal team on Friday and I think it went well. Hopefully I get another patent approved soon. 🙂 It was my first presentation with the legal team ever since I took over the entire innovation4good program. Yes, I’m now a program lead for it. I was also invited to present in 1 of the company events (India Innovation Forum) next, next week. It’s my first presentation whereby I was invited and going to present it by myself. Whee! I’m going to start to prepare the slides after my CISSP exam. It’s really different when you are invited because the organisers will send you the list of stuff to cover as per your request. It’s like you don’t really need to push or market yourself hard. I told the good news to 1 of my mentors who has been focusing on improving my own presentation and marketing myself better. Maybe I will get his help to help me review my slides. Hehe.
I had some health issue at the moment and I hope it clears up soon. If it doesn’t clear up by end of this month then I will have to be referred to a specialist and potentially take a biopsy. Sigh. I already had 2 cancer scares last year and really don’t want to go through it again. Please let it recover soon.
I was studying for CISSP at night last weekend (not this weekend) and I felt I was seeing stars. Felt quite dizzy and stuff. I think I have been too stressed recently and I just kept pushing on (which I am very good at) so my body is like pressing all the alarm bells to force me to rest. 🙁
It certainly doesn’t help that for the past week, I am like going out everyday and rushing here and there – be it work or personal life. Mostly due to work though. It’s tough to earn money these days, especially with the widespread layoffs in tech industry.
I met one of my mentors at the FS-ISAC conference and she commented that I should drop the part of finding love/husband. “Dun spread yourself thin.” is what she texted me on WhatsApp. I’m shocked to hear it from her because I didn’t say much about my personal life recently. I also didn’t tell her about my health issues recently. It’s interesting how Gulabi is also saying something along the same lines but that’s because she knew I have been sick for the past few months. She’s like… I know you can push and stretch yourself and will continue to do it but please take breaks.
My mentor also commented that she is happy that I have improved. I asked if I wore better and more suitable clothing for the conference and she said, it is not just the clothing that you have improved. You also improved in your demeanour and how you present yourself in a work setting. It’s impressive because I did it in 3 months and she told me that I need to spend time alone to be my true self. Everyone has different sides and I need to rest more and spend more alone time to recover. It’s going to be very tiring for me to keep up to the work demeanour. This reminded me of what my manager had told me before. Everyone has a different sides to show at work, at personal life and with their spouses.
I did a lot to reach to this stage. Reading lots of audio books, having multiple mentors, had therapy (to recover from my toxic relationship and face my own giants), researching on the dressing sense and how I can carry myself better. I’m also getting better at makeup and I definitely look way better now haha. Alex was commenting that 1 of my outfit of the day photos how I look like 28 years old and the clothes are like 18 years old so average is 23 years old. Wow, for a guy who always suan/disturb/bring me down to say that I look younger than my age (33 years old), it was quite an achievement. Makeup and dressing really can make one looks younger. Gulabi also commented how I look like same age or just a bit older than the new intern in 1 of the photos. Mind you, the intern is like 24 years old? Now the question is whether I can sustain this stage without pushing myself to my limits.
I guess I have to pick the right balls to manage now. Cannot drop the glass balls in my life and that includes health. I probably will stop swiping on the dating apps a few months to refocus my life in some important aspects that are coming up.
But I’m still curious to see if my fengshui master is right that I will have peach blossom luck in August. He specifically told me to look out in June and July this year. Well, I think I already rejected 2 men so far after having a few dates with them. Cause…. cannot make it lah. Sometimes good looks can only bring you so far. I had enough of mummy’s boy and indecisive dudes. All these rotten peach blossom luck arh… 😐 Then there’s 1 that seems quite high potential but not sure if we will actually end up meeting given that the conversation is slowly fading/dying after I told him I am not free to meet this weekend and said will prefer to meet after my exam next Wednesday. Lol. Maybe he is not meant to be or just one of the dudes who is either married or attached but still swiping to find ladies to spend time on weekends. Shrugs.
The next time I see my fengshui master, I must definitely bring this up. How come he is so accurate about being May 2024 will be a very tough time for me but in terms of the peach blossom part, he isn’t very accurate. 🙁 However, I did reject 2 men within the same month so hmmm…
Dear God, please just send my future husband to me. Stop sending men to teach me stuff that I need to know. Have I not learn enough? :'(
Anyway, just 3 more days to my CISSP exam. I really hope I can pass and get my ISC2 membership. If I pass it, then maybe I will consider learning driving so that if I relocate to US for work, I can still drive myself around. Oh well, a girl got to do what she needed to. I’m not going to be able to be a passenger princess sadly. 🙁