This is a question that my leadership coach, Felicia Du, asked during my last coaching session yesterday.
I replied pretty quickly and said, “I have always being the odd one out so it is like normal.” Then she laughed and said something like if you are not exceptional then it is really odd for you. That was a really good question because subsequent questions, she was asking me to reflect why I always strive hard to be exceptional and what was the first time I was exceptional.
Then I thought back and realised that the first time it happened was when I am in primary 6. At a mere age of 11 years old (because I am a December baby), I managed to study hard in 1 month to do better than expected for my PSLE. I didn’t do well for my preliminary exams for PSLE. In fact, I was supposed to go into Normal Technical stream. I panicked at that time. My parents weren’t worried since they had never planned to send me for degree education. If I can somehow get a diploma, their job is completed because I can just go out to work with a diploma.
Luckily, I managed to get into Express stream after I got my actual PSLE scores. I got into the 4th class (out of 5 class) in the Express stream on my first year. After a year, I got into the 2nd class. In that second year, I realised I am a late bloomer and my academics went even better and I made it to the top 10 students in my entire school cohort for some school subjects. On my third year, I made it to the top class in Express stream and took up the triple science and double math subject combination. It is one of the hardest subjects combination offered by my neighbourhood secondary school at that time.
My coach then told me that among all of her clients (mostly in China), I have one of the rare strengths (Commander) and talents (most of my top strengths are in the Influencing/orange space), especially for a female. Everything is pointing towards leadership role for me but I am not in a leadership role somehow. She thinks I will end up in a leadership role somehow – be it within my current company or another company.
She also mentioned that a lot of her exceptional clients are driven because of childhood trauma- the need to impress their parents. Something that is quite linked to Asian culture. However, she can see that I have that fire in me which is quite different from the rest. I’m also quite used to being the exception and is comfortable with my own success. It is like the norm for me. 😀
I am also reflecting more on this topic and I think my fire was triggered by fear. The fear of inability to protect or take care of myself. If no one loves me then I should at least love myself. I think that’s the line that I have been telling myself everything I have a setback in family/relationships. As a result, I have to push myself to greater heights and achieve so much more that I am able to protect and take care of myself. That is probably the fire within myself. Driven by my desire for self protection.
It’s really interesting how my coach can sense this characteristic of me in the third session of coaching. I’m pretty impressed and no wonder she is working as an executive leadership coach for so many years…
Now back to doing the homework (journaling) that she gave me. Interesting how my career coach from US also gave me the same homework/feedback. I need to make sure that I don’t fall into the traps of my strengths and work on improving my awareness.
Categories: Insights, Overseas, Personal life, Rants, Travel
I had so much epic-ness in this trip which I think I should blog about before I forget.
(1) The first has got to be me falling sick (runny nose) before all my flights. It got me really worried about the blocked ears from the changes in air pressure during takeoff and landing.
(2) Then I almost missed my flight for the SFO – PHX route which I blogged about it here.
(3) Next is when I forgot to check what time the departmental store is closing and almost couldn’t get to the pick up point for my hotel shuttle bus. I blogged about that in here.
(4) My transit flight for DTW – LGA is like 10 mins after I am expected to land in DTW airport from PHX. Again, I blogged about it in here. Luckily it turned out to be okay.
(5) Then there was an epic deplaning incident for my flight DTW – LGA which I blogged about it in here.
(6) As usual, I had a bit of nose bleed when I was in Scottsdale. Happened on the day 4 or 5. Then it nose bleed more in New York. New York winter is no joke.
(7) My hands became red from the cold exposure within the first day. I went to Uniqlo at Hudson Yards to get the cashmere gloves. However, it might be a bit too late but applying the Kiehls Ultra Facial Cream on my hands help to control redness from getting worse.
(8) I was the last to board the JFK – SFO flight which I blogged in here.
(9) I had to give up my Popcorners and Sulwhasoo skin care bottles due to luggage weight limit and space constraints.
Categories: Advices & Tips, Insights, Love
One of my future neighbours, Rae, gave me this advice over Telegram and sent it at 2:22am. 222 is like an angel number. It means the following: trust the process, focus on your goals, nurture your relationships, express your creativity, acknowledge your feelings and commit to a true partner.
What energy u give out is the energy u attract.
Actually in a r/s v impt to find a partner or spouse that can work hard together w u, regardless who earning more but willing to be align w ur goal in life everything can be worked out. Look will fade / age but the heart and the value of life will not.
So if keep focusing on look, then the criteria to find the right partner will nv come. If u look at the value of life / principle then everything else will fall in place.
Just sharing la, my hub is younger than me, I work earlier than him. But we align on our goals and our life is great.
So really what’s the priority in a r/s that u r looking at.
If a guy handsome ah, then outside flirt flirt u also no security, but a guy is devoted, ur life is superb.
I guess it is a good reminder, especially the part on the type of energy I am giving out and the kind of men I am attracting. No more scarcity mindset or putting myself down.
Categories: Insights, Japanese related, Korean related, Personal life, Reviews, Shopping, Skin care
I realised I haven’t blog about my skin care regime for 5 years. My last post is in 2019. I have other posts earlier which you can see them here. Some of the old posts are archived though.
- My skin care regime in early twenties – 2014
- My skin care regime in mid twenties – 2017
- My skin care regime (2018 edition) – 2018
- My skin care regime (2019 edition) – 2019
Day care
- Cleanser: Fancl Washing Powder has been my holy grail since 2018. 😀
- Pre-serum: Sulwhasoo First Care Activating Serum EX has my holy grail since my first post about my skin care regime in 2014.
- Eye cream: Sulwhasoo Concentrated Ginseng Renewing Eye Cream has been my holy grail since my 2017 post.
- Serum: Kiehls Clearly Corrective Dark Spot Solution
- Serum: Drunk Elephant C-Firma Fresh Day Serum
- Moisturiser: Kiehls Ultra Facial Oil-free Gel Cream
- Sunscreen: Kiehls Ultra Light Daily UV Defense Aqua Gel and Round Lab Birch Juice Moisturizing Sunscreen
- Base makeup primer: Cle de Peau Correcting Cream Veil which I just started using since end 2023.
- Base makeup: Hermes Plein Air
- Blush: Hermes Silky Blush Powder
- Finishing powder: Dior Forever Cushion Powder
- Setting spray: Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Setting Spray
Night care
- Makeup remover: Sulwhasoo Gentle Cleansing Oil
- Cleanser: Fancl Washing Powder has been my holy grail since 2018. 😀
- Pre-serum: Sulwhasoo First Care Activating Serum EX has my holy grail since my first post about my skin care regime in 2014.
- Eye cream: Sulwhasoo Concentrated Ginseng Renewing Eye Cream has been my holy grail since my 2017 post.
- Serum: Sulwhasoo Concentrated Ginseng Rejuvenating Serum
- Moisturiser: Kiehls Ultra Facial Oil-free Gel Cream
Damage*: S$1767
* I’m following the prices I found online and not the ones that I actually paid for. I always do my due diligence when it comes to buying the products and where+when to buy them. So what I paid for is lesser than what is listed.
Wow, it’s a 65% jump since 2019. Lol, lifestyle inflation is a real thing. Maybe I should say is skin care inflation. Lol. Well, when you are older, you do need to spend more to upkeep your appearance. 😐
Sulwhasoo, Kiehls, Fancl, Round Lab and Drunk Elephant are now like key skin care brands while Hermes, Cle de Peau and Charlotte Tilbury are my go-to brands for daily basic makeup now.
Categories: Insights, Personal life, Rants, Work
I’m counting my blessings at the work related opportunities that I receive.
Not everyone has a job and not worry about impending layoffs.
Not everyone gets to travel on business trips to other countries.
Not everyone gets budget to study/upskill themselves.
However, as much as I can get these opportunities, there will always be people who are jealous at what I get. I mean… If you don’t ask, you won’t get it, right? If you don’t deliver results, you won’t get it, right? This is a reminder to myself that there will always be jealous, negative and toxic people around.
“Yeah. We are our own person. If people are negative best to limit the interaction.
Cuz we are influenced by the top 5 people we hang out with.”
This is something that one of my mentors, Marie, told me. Not exactly linked to the jealousy I received from my colleagues but something where I asked for advice on.
Obviously people love to see and gossip about the good stuff that others receive, including myself. What others did not realise is the difficult times people have to go through. They also did not realise and did not want to see the amount of hard work people put in to receive these “good opportunities”.
As I grow older, I realised it is even harder to have people around you who truly appreciate what you have and are happy for your accomplishments.
I realised that as I become more self aware and mature, I am gaining more empathy and awareness on the effect of my words and actions. The world of the empathetic is tough.