• Posted On: March 31st 2024 at 10:26 pm | Add a Comment?
    Categories: Insights, Love

    I recently watched this podcast on YouTube which explained pretty well about gaslighting. I highly recommend everyone to watch this podcast as it really explains really well about gaslighting.

    DARVO – Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. I realised it happened to me as I was in my healing phase. Sylvia’s example was really classic and I can relate to it really well. Like the gaslighter will deny what he did, then attack you back before proclaiming himself as the victim and put you as the offender. If only I did my self-work and understand all these way earlier, I would not have wasted so many years. Oh well. At least I realised it much later.

    Real narcissist will not heal. You are not in public service and you are not a social worker, so just run. Anger is a self-protection mechanism from danger, indeed.

    This is a call for you ladies to understand the basics of gaslighting and be able to identify when you are in such situations. Don’t just walk away, run away immediately!

    Posted On: August 16th 2023 at 11:30 pm | Add a Comment?
    Categories: Korean related, Love, Personal life, Rants

    It’s day 3 of my hospitalisation leave and I am taking less naps. I still get dreams which are odd and wake up at odd hours too. I’m spending the day watching Love in Contract. My finger is still hurting but the strong painkillers are also helping my fingers. I didn’t dare to continue my TCM medicine for my finger since I am already taking really strong painkillers for my wound. Hopefully it doesn’t bleed as much tomorrow. It’s been a challenge to make sure that the bandage stays put though. Can’t wait for my followup appointment with the surgeon.

    I also received a care hamper from Geck Keat today. She sent me some bird nest and vitamin C drinks. As a big fan of bird nest, I guess this is my excuse to spam bird nest? Hahaha. 🙂

    I’m feeling blessed with the care and concern I received so far. That includes the care and support I got post-breakup. It wasn’t easy to navigate the health issues while the relationship was in the rocks. 🙁 I guess God has his way to make sure that at least I have supportive friends and also met a nice surgeon who encouraged me to just go for the surgery. Hopefully the scar is not as bad though haha. *fingers crossed* I hope I can trust a senior consultant surgery skills hehe.

    I still remembered when I told my bestie that I have to go for the surgery and she went to find an auspicious date for it and told me to pick that date. I thought she meant she is only free on that date but it turned out she went to check every date before lunar 7th month to find out which date is auspicious for surgery. 🙂 The stars were aligned as that is also the earliest possible date when my surgeon is available. 

    Posted On: July 28th 2023 at 10:00 pm | Add a Comment?
    Categories: Insights, Love, Personal life, Rants

    If I am still in a relationship with Chin Hau, today will be the 5th anniversary. However, the relationship was not salvageable. I tried my best and don’t know what else can be done. Relationship counselling only works if both parties are in the mindset of trying hard to salvage the relationship – like work together to fix the issues instead of fixing each other. It takes 2 hands to clap for it to work.

    5 years is really long time. It’s also too long to have a relationship and not get married. If the couple were decisive and able to be honest with each other from the start, I don’t think it will take more than 3 years to settle down. It takes 2 hands to clap – for both to be decisive and honest with each other. It also takes the decisive one to see and point out the issues much earlier so we can’t just blame the indecisive one.

    I would like to end this post with the following quote. It’s always difficult to see the true nature of people in good times. It’s the difficult times that will let you see the real beauty of people. Just like diamond – it takes a lot of heat and pressure for nature to create such a beautiful stone.

    “Never forget three types of people: people who helped you in your difficult times, people who leave you in your difficult times and who put you in difficult times.”

    I definitely learned quite a bit from this failed relationship. Sometimes it might be better to be single than to marry the wrong one or into the wrong family.

    Posted On: June 24th 2023 at 12:47 am | Add a Comment?
    Categories: Love, Overseas, Personal life, Rants

    It’s been a month since I am back from my Seoul trip. I have filed my damaged baggage report with Singapore Airlines. I don’t know why I keep having problems that I need to fix. It’s been tough because my health has not been great. Stress levels has been quite high for some time too. I remembered I had to get a new Windows laptop in less than a week for a technical course. Luckily I have my then boyfriend, Chin Hau, at that time to help me with the laptop shopping research. However, sometimes it felt lonely with with so many issues but not as much support. Well, that’s adulting, isn’t it?

    I am going through a broken heart phase right now. I’m not ready to talk more about it at the moment and I appreciate some privacy on it. Time will heal all woes, I hope. If it is meant to be, it will be.