Argh. I played badly on my violin today. I can’t concentrate on playing Adoration on my violin. It’s a love piece and I intend to record it and send it for my second major application. Argh. Now I can’t play it well. It’s emotionless with lousy technique. Sigh. In order to do well with that piece, I need to inject some emotions into the piece. However, I seems to lose the ability to do so.

I am feeling lost again. Should I take up the second major in Recording Arts and Sciences if I passed the selection tests? My interview (the second round of selection test) is on this coming Wednesday. That’s like 2 days later. I also got medical appointment right after the interview. I hate rushing here and there.

I went for Matriculation Fair today. NUS Symphony Orchestra (NUSSO)’s booth was opposite NUS Guitar Ensemble. That’s right. It’s Jonathan’s CCA. I didn’t see him though. Anyway, the focus is not on his CCA. The main focus is on the music technology CCA booth that was just beside NUSSO’s booth. Well, I was looking at their equipment and thinking if that’s what I want to work with in future. If I pursue the second major in Recording Arts and Sciences, I will most likely go into the music industry, specialising in music technology. Well, that’s what I wanted to achieve when I applied for Computer Engineering at NUS. However, I am having some doubts on that. Argh. I have come so far. I can’t possibly give up now. I can only modify my plans but not give up. I still want to pursue my initial dream. However, why do I feel that I am getting further and further from it?

If I take up the second major, I think I will have to extend my university education by 1 more year or 1 more semester. Oh well… It is too stressful to overload every semester just to clear modules for my second major. This means that I will graduate later than my peers, entering the working society later than them and climb corporate ladder later than them as well. Is that what I really want?

Argh. I don’t know what I want now. Suddenly, I wished that my heart is at peace and no distractions from whoever or whatever.

By the way, this is the 1000th blog post at VS. Long live, VS!

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